Big news for me at least, I’ve sent Zine 4 to the printers ready to be printed off!
I knew there was only a tiny bit of tweaking to do, I just needed to get on with it. Here is an image from the zine, I will put a bit more on my work page next week. It’s on my “to do” list.
In it I explore why I am so hypervigilant (there’s nothing really awful in it, just low grade early childhood trauma) but I also remember and contrast it with my experience of my Grandad and why he was an important, good, figure in my life.
I’ve been reading another book on trauma in early life by Dr Sarah Woodhouse "You're not broken", I’ll put it up with the other books I’ve found helpful. The author talks about t-trauma and how it affects people just as much as major events, causing complex-PTSD. She’s not telling me anything new that I haven’t already worked out for myself but it is good to have stuff validated by reading it in a book. I had noticed that the more I work on my triggers and reactions, the more powerfully things come to the surface. Emotions which have been buried long ago can feel very powerful and uncomfortable, but recognising them, containing them and allowing them to pass through you, brings a sense of relief. I’ve likened it to dealing with an abscess. My (medical) husband is of the belief that stuff once buried is better left there, whereas I keep telling him, no, it’s good to feel this stuff and let it dissipate in the open air.
A nice bit of synchronicity, is that the author is a fan of the Japanese art of kintsugi which I reference in Zine 4.
Incidentally, my zines are on sale at a pop up comic book store, Destination Venus, on the off chance that anyone would want to take a look. I will put a link on here for that as well.
The images this week are from Zine 4, happy memories of my favourite Grandad.