Playing games

This is a game I DO remember playing with my grandmother whilst visiting at their holiday caravan

I’ve been away this week, I’ve been busy doing childcare, which as anyone who knows me knows is not playing to my skill sets! That might appear to be contradictory as my inner 8 year old creative muse is such a big part of my life now, but what I now realise is that my childhood was a vacuum in so many ways.

I have very few memories of days out as a child.

The vast amount of my playing was solitary and imaginary.

I have very few memories of playing any games with adults.

My brothers and I played together but we had very little input or limited interactions with our parents.

We spent many weekends at our grand parent’s houses but the grandparents, whilst a comforting presence, largely left us to amuse ourselves.

So now as a (step) grandparent, I watch what my husband does as he plays with the grandchildren and try to be a benign, calm presence in the room, I am more reactive than proactive. I think I’m finding it a bit easier as time goes on but it is still feels very unnatural to me. I’ve become better at being affectionate, (my upbringing was not very openly affectionate) and I can do the “firm but fair” grandparent, but playing is still uncomfortable. I feel like my inner 8 year old is sat awkwardly to one side, watching proceedings.

So I observe, and try to practice at joining in.