I always think I’m going to write about one thing and then other things get in the way.
Over christmas I had a random health thing crop up. I was fast tracked for a procedure and the end result of that is that I need some surgery, I’m awaiting a date which should be fairly soon. It will only be a day case and I’m honestly not that worried about the outcome. I am dreading the actual procedure however. It means social contact with people especially when I’m feeling vulnerable and have no escape route and I will not be in control of what happens when etc. My autistic self finds all that hard to cope with and I know that will wipe me out more than any physical stuff.
Ah well, it’s all a learning process. I’ve gone back to Pema Chodron for comfort / ways of handling stuff. Basically life is always putting us through the wringer, we all more often than not, can handle things badly but that is how we learn and open up. Just keep being curious and self observant and let things go.