Another funny old week
On the plus side my post viral symptoms have definitely abated. I am almost virtually back to normal. One bizarre thing, my balance in yoga is shot to pieces. Is it something to do with all those little proprioceptor nerve loops I wonder, the covid virus is meant to affect the neurological system?
One thought I had was that when I trained as a medic we were really only taught about “ the body”. At that time there was little talk about a more holistic approach and how the mind and body interact as a complete system. It interests me how the body can have an effect on the mind, eg the feelings of extreme irritability related to the virus in the body, and how the mind can effect the body e.g stomach churning with anxious thoughts.
Yoga has really helped me think of the two in a much more integrated way and I really like the way the breath is so fundamental, slow deep breaths helping to promote the parasympathetic nervous system. Now there is talk of the gut as a second brain and I find that really interesting, I’d like it if my gut would be a bit more settled, that’s for sure! Anyway these are just random thoughts that aren’t leading anywhere….
Work wise, mmm, it hasn’t been a great week. We had problems with advertisers for our magazine, I had to rush back and add another 2 pages to it and resend it to the printers…… only for us to get some last minute advertisers and so going back to the earlier version, a flurry of emails and time wasted overall.
I’m still struggling to get on with Zine 5. I’ve done some rough layouts and now need to start making proper drawings. I think part of my extreme reluctance is that I became estranged from my Dad over 40 years ago, resulting in my life becoming much calmer and settled, and whenever I revisit that side of the family, mentally, I get really churned up. The truth is I would like to keep the door closed on him, but that would be erasing people that had a big influence while I was a child.
Once I get stuck in it will be fine. Interestingly, now that I’ve finished Zine 4, in my head it has become my “ official version” of events which carries no emotional sting. It has disarmed the memories. That would be my ideal outcome for Zine 5, to create a Zine version of my Dad and that side of the family, which relieves the anxiety and discomfort I feel about them.
One thing I’ve been doing while not getting on with my work is making collages again in my sketchbooks. I found this a good way of working while my brain fog was around. I think it is the Octopus working, it doesn’t require conscious thought or planning, it is just cutting, sticking, responding to patterns and shapes. The sketchbook works evolves very slowly over months of time, a slow build up of patterns and colours. They are never beautiful or stunning results, at best they are interesting and random. Here is a random page, a work in progress, an early page that will no doubt alter hugely over time.