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Excited or anxious?

Updated: May 18, 2022

The cat helping with the printing last week, they find the press so comfy.

My mood has been cycling recently round and round in an uncomfortable circle, anxiety, through to irritability, through to despair. It is exhausting and I’m fed up with myself. I remember when I was in the final months of pregnancy wanting to take a holiday away from myself and I feel that now too!

The good news in all this is that I think I’ve worked out the cause. It is about attending the comic book convention “Thought Bubble” in a weeks time. Any big social event for me is a struggle but I have rather set myself up this time as I am planning to actually SPEAK to people, talk to female artists who work in a similar way to me and have a look at publishing tables that might produce work like mine. And then whip out Zine 1 and Zine 2 to show them! Ask them if they might be interested in the future.

One of my art friends cautioned me about setting myself up for failure on this front, but I think I really have to try. If it turns out to be too hard for me, at least I will realistically know that.

I have bought my tickets, I’m going to take a backpack with a flask in so I can find a corner to sit in if I need a bit of quiet time away from the main halls. I’ve ordered some noise calming ear things that are meant to help in noisy crowded spaces.

I’ve printed off the maps and made a note of locations the tables of possible artists and publishers not doing the mainstream sci fi, fantasy stuff. I still need to pick up my 5 printed versions of Zine 1 and Zine 2, at the printers currently, not helped by my computer crashing last week!

Deep breath.

Deep breath.

I’ll try to remember to post in 2 weeks time about how it goes, I have an annoying tendency to get like this before social events, get hugely wound up and then dismiss it afterwards as “no big deal”.

One big event I find really hard are weddings, they go on so long. I’ve learnt to cope with those by disappearing back to my accommodation during any lulls, maybe I should pace myself also with this event, go in for an hour then take a break?

We shall see.

I'll finish with some random cat images from my sketchbook

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