I’ve found it a struggle to blog recently, maybe I need to unpick that a bit, not necessarily this post. One thing I do know, I regularily follow blogs and sometimes the blogger talks about giving up, that their blog is of no interest / pointless/ etc etc. Well, even if I find little of interest, I still check in with their blog, still flick through it, as the reader I would feel something was missing if they stopped, and I think my blog is a good place to put down my reflections on life, so I’m going to get back in the groove.
Recently we had a big family celebration event. I did make notes about it, but never posted, so here is a quick run down.
It was family on my husband’s side so I was thankfully in a more peripheral position, however it was been very FULL ON. There were lots of seperate issues, complicating factors, again, I am peripheral to all these issues but I always struggle with the emotional dramas, sensing stuff even when I would rather opt out.
Overall I now take the view that such events are useful for observing and learning, mainly about myself and my interactions with others.
As someone so introverted and hypervigilant I was of course anxious about it ever since we booked it (we were the hosts). However, ultimately, it WENT WELL, I was glad we had set it in motion, we did well. I need to be more positive in the run up to these sort of events, I have such a negative take on them and it would just save me a bit of angst if I could dial that down a bit!
I overate as a way of dealing with the stress. As a non sugar eater for years, I ate cake and pudding 4 days in a row, with seconds on occasions. It reminded me of the stuff I’ve read about addictions, it was impossible for me not to have any, indeed I ACTIVELY wanted them, I was afraid of missing out. It was a very powerful feeling which I observed with interest and once home again I didn’t beat myself up about it but framed it as an interesting experience. I noticed myself still craving sweet things but without the stress and in a sugar free house, it was easy to go back to normal, although I needed a few days of pushing my intermittent fasting through to tea time in order to lose the few pounds I had put on.
Secondly I was better at managing my overwhelming by noise by retreating without shame to my room at times.
Thirdly, when I got home I was better at managing my exhaustion and accepting the need to shut down for over 24 hours. I had already cancelled my piano lesson and wasn’t able to do any music practice during that time. I just pottered, meditated (which actually helped me recognise I wanted to write a little note to each of the families involved, I was unable to connect fully at the time, it was so full on, but a little note did that for me), did laundry, etc.
I then had a series of days when my energy levels fluctuated up and down. On one day I developed a migrainous aura and had to lie down for 15 minutes in the dark to wait for it to go. I also developed some headache symptoms but not the brain fog.
