with quite a lot of the answers worked out, but not all of them, and that’s ok.
I have now had over a week of a huge step forward. I’m trying to hold onto the good stuff and not let it slip away, back into old ways of being; permanent high anxiety, perfectionism and fearfulness.
I’ve been using ideas from children’s stories as a useful way to downgrade my fears, make them more manageable in the moment. Going back to childhood mentally and allowing myself to grow up? Anyway, it has been helpful regardless of how it's working!
Today I was thinking of the Lemony Snicket stories, a Series of Unfortunate Events. We no longer have the books so I can’t reread them, however from memory, there are a lot of things in those books that resonated with me. For a start, beautiful illustrations by Brett Helquist! Another is that despite helpful, meaning well adults being around, those adults are blind to see where the real problems (Count Olaf) are and the children always have to save themselves. It is a life of constant new dangers around the corner but getting prepared anyway (Violet does this by tying up her hair, I think)
Today, having had a mild virus and feeling a bit overwhelmed by life, I was thinking I needed a good female role model to identify with. I decided to use Violet Baudelaire. In my version, the longterm follow up, Violet is now living in (relative) peace and quiet, Count Olaf is dead, she is happy just working on her music and art.
A boring, but nice ending.
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